30 Year Reunion

A couple weeks ago I attended my 30 year high school reunion. It brought back so many good memories of growing up in Santa Clara. Back in the 60's and 70's it seemed like life was so much simpler and less stressful. Of course there was just as much stress back then, but I was in elementary school and my parents kept us sheltered from the stress. That's really what a parent's role is - to create a nurturing environment for the children to learn, grow, and thrive. It's like a farmer that tends the soil, removes the rocks, prays for rain, provides water/fertilizer, and watches out for bugs. My parents immigrated to the US from Taiwan in their mid-age, so that us children would have a better life. My father was a professor, while my mother baby-sat to provide for the family.

At the reunion, the old friends have less hair, more weight, and poor eyesight. They gave us name tags with small fonts, so everyone was leaning in and squinting to read the name on the name tags. "Oh my - it's Mark!" as someone finally recognizes the person in front of them. We laughed, we shared about our families, we cried for the ones that had already passed away. Yes, I guess we are getting old enough when some friends are beginning to pass away. Lots of mid-life crisis with divorces and career changes. I have had my share of losses with my brother and parents passing away since the last reunion. It's true that no one is immune to calamities and each life has its share of good as well as bad times. It was great to see old friends, because we know now how special childhood can be when your parents create a nurturing environment for you to grow. We have our own children now so we know that life isn't stress free, but we also work hard to provide a safe place for our children to grow.

The Buchser High School Class of '79 will always have a special place in my heart. It was great to see old friends and laugh.

My 3 year old is smarter than me

My wife and I try to feed our boys nutritious meals and snacks. Low sugar, no saturated fats, low salt, organic fruits, whatever we can do to find the best foods for our boys. I have been trained well to always read the labels and not be fooled when the package says "0 gram of trans fat per serving." Apparently the manufacturers are rounding to zero for very small serving sizes, because there are trans. fats in the package, just not enough to quantify per serving. We allow them to have sweets, but not too much. Our rationing of sweets has of course resulted in creating sweet-toothed monsters in our boys. Whenever, they are at a birthday party or after game snack, to say they binge on sweets would be an understatement. My wife and I are trying to find a healthy balance, so that we do not go overboard.

Today my 3 year old wanted to have a juice box. Well, I told him that he could only have one today and that he would need to eat lunch first. he agreed and ate a good sized lunch. In the afternoon he was whining and wanted to have another juice box. I mentioned to him that he already had one and that we agreed to one a day. I also made up a story, as parents are prone to do, that if he had another one it would make his tommy ache. My 3 year old, clearly smarter than I am, said "I want my tummy to ache." I couldn't win the argument, so I gave him another juice box, after which he said to me, "hey my tummy feels fine."

But I want the blue one!

I'm surprised that I have not written about this topic in the past, as it occurs daily. We have 3 self-powered scooters at our house. Unfortunately for me, they are all different in color. My 7 year old was riding the blue one and my 3 year old wanted it. I told him that there were 2 other scooters available for him to ride. But of course, "I want the blue one." No amount of reasoning or convincing could deter my 3 year old from getting his hands on the blue scooter. I made all kinds of promises to my 7 year old to give his younger brother the blue scooter. You can play on the Nintendo DS, you get a juice box, you can be a good big brother etc... Well finally, with a lot of reluctance my 7 year old agreed and dropped the scooter about 3 feet away from his little brother, at least to have a little victory that his little brother had to walk to the scooter. Less than 5 minutes later the little brother was no longer interested in scootering, blue, yellow, or any color for that matter.

My wife and I try to buy 2 or 4 of the same exact things whenever we pick up new things. The scooters unfortunately came at different times, so we could not coordinate the colors. It doesn't really matter, because whatever your brother has is always better than what you have, so I must have it.

Potty Training - One Last Time

My youngest son turned 3 in April and my wife and I have been too busy to potty train him. It actually takes a lot of coordination to potty train as you can imagine. If you are training a 3 year old and have to run to pick up one of your other children, then there is always the chance (highly likely) that there will be an "accident" in the car on the way to the baseball practice or at the person's home where you are picking up one of the other brothers. You see, potty training is a home activity. You need to be able to access a potty within 3 seconds and 10 feet if possible (maybe 20 feet). For a child that has in his whole young life always went potty whenever and where-ever he wanted, distance and time to a toilet is not high on his list.

As parents you are on the clock, constantly reminding yourself to either ask or take the potty trainee to the toilet. An empty bladder is a good thing. Modern society has of course invented the "pull up" diaper. They are elastic waisted so the child feels like he is wearing briefs, but just in case he has an accident there is no spillage. We love pull-up diapers even if they are a bit more expensive and don't hold as much "stuff." You have to call the "pull up" diapers as "underwear" and NOT diapers. Because if you call them "diapers," then you child will not know that he is being potty trained. It's a very complex process, which every parent will eventually have to go through, but the reward is oh so wonderful. We have four boys and have only been out of diapers as a family for about 6 months during that 11 year span. I'm not complaining, just presenting the facts.

Yes, I do dream of a time when I don't have to change diapers any more. If I am fortunate to become a grandfather, I will not volunteer to change the diaper - I've done my share. I have changed diapers in all the usual spots, and also at the baseball game in the stands, at the ski lodge all bundled in thermals and ski bibs, in the car (of course), in the plane, on a ship, you name it. Don't get me started on the times when the diaper has slipped off the bed due to the diaper-ee fussing and my natural instinct to grab a falling object - only to realize that that was not a good idea. Oh the stories I have...

I am counting down the days...

Climbing Half-Dome At Yosemite

I took my oldest son up with a friend and his son to climb Half-Dome at Yosemite National Park this week.  It was the first week of summer vacation for our boys and one of our neighbors, who happens to love hiking, invited my oldest son to Yosemite with his family.  He asked me to come along so that there would be one dad for each of the boys during the long hike in case anything happened.  Well I have been running all year, about 2 miles every other day and thought I was in good shape.  The Half-Dome hike is 8 miles each way starting from an elevation of 4000 feet and ending at an elevation of 8500 feet.  I was winded after the first mile, but there was more.  My son and I somehow walked, crawled, and climbed our way up to the foot of the "cables" at Half-Dome.  The final 600 feet of the ascent requires you to hang on to cables on the side of the rock to get to the top of Half-Dome.  I think of myself as a risk taker, but on this day both my son and I were happy to say - "I think we'll just rest here at the foot of the cables, while you and your son make it up to the top."  I am now more impressed than ever of anyone who has trekked the 8 miles up the mountain and had enough energy and guts to climb up the final 600 feet with only your hands and a cable between you and the Yosemite Valley floor.  My survival instinct kicked into high-gear on that ledge and I really learned something new about myself.  I'm not as big of a risk taker with my life as I would have thought.  

We started at 6:30am in the morning and made it to the Half-Dome cables at around 12:30pm.  We rested there to about 2:00pm, while our friend and his son climbed the cables up the top of Half-Dome.  Coming down was easier, but not by much as our energy and our knees were about spent by the time we reached the Yosemite valley floor at around 7:30pm.  13 hours of hiking in one day was easily the toughest thing I have done physically.  Our friends want to do it again with our younger sons when they are old enough.  At this moment, as I try to recover from the muscle pains that linger, I am happy to have the memories of making it up to the cables and happy to be back on the ground safe at home.  Now if I can just get up out of my chair....